SCRIPTS
BUT:
Before I can grant you access to my work,
I must ask
that
you read and agree (or not)
to the following statement of rights and ownership:
All the work offered herein is protected
by each and every form of international copyright
law,
present and future.
The scripts are offered for perusal only; in the
event
that production rights or other permissions
are sought, the reader should get in touch with me
using
any or all of the methods listed in the
"Contact Info" section of this site (CLICK
HERE to find that section.)
If you click on "I AGREE," you're
acknowledging that
we're
onto you. Your IP address will be
automatically stored in a database of Usual
Suspects.
Specially-bred Canary-Island Mastiffs,
trained in the subtleties of international
copyright
law, will be provided with your scent and will
be placed in a state we like to call "Carnivorous
Standby."
Your picture, as provided by the
tiny "web-cam" in your keyboard (you didn't know
that's
what that thing is?) will be distributed
to law enforcement agencies, many of which
specialize
in excessive force. Services which you have
come to take for granted, such as pizza delivery
or
clean
drinking water, shall suddenly become
rare and difficult to obtain. The Maitre D'
of
your favorite restaurant shall continue to accept your
bribes, but he will feign ignorance of your
identity.
The "surprise endings" to many upcoming
films shall be revealed to you before you have a
chance
to enjoy them. There shall be a variety
of plagues visited upon your house (Locusts.
Boils. You
get the idea.)
In other words: By all means, enjoy my
work.
Read
at your leisure. But don't think you can make
copies or mount royalty-free productions without
paying
the most dire consequences.
The Mastiffs and I are watching.